It takes me A LOT to get there.
I can have VERY dark thoughts. My mind can get heavy.
I rarely wake up with this zest for life, jumping out of bed and being high on life. I mean, some days I absolutely do, and I LOVE those days. But a lot of the time, not so much.
So this is why I meditate twice per day.
This is why I keep my language in check.
This is why I journal.
This is why I sit in tea ceremonies.
This is why I track my thoughts, constantly trying to catch them mid-spiral and create a different story.
This is why I keep regulating my Nervous System.
This is why I used my Human Design as an anchor.
This is why I check my freuency and energy throughout the day.
This is why I scream, sing, yell in the car.
This is why I dance and breathe in my living room.
This is why I go to bed on time.
This is why I get up and out most mornings, even when many parts of me wants to stay under the covers.
This is why I eat good and move my body.
This is WHY I lean on ALL the practices that I know.
& NOT because it comes easy to me, it really doesn’t… but because I know where I would end up if I didn’t. And that place I do not want to be in. And I certaintly do not want that to be my life to be layin on my deathbed to reflect back on, that ain’t life.
I would rather put in the reps to feel good than sit in the victimhood of my dark mind. Because honestly…As hard as that is to admitt…That’s one of my comfort zone. It’s familiar down there. I know my way around. I don’t have to take much action and I can hide but that’s exactly what makes it so easy to stay.
How I like to view it, so it makes sense to me, is that the dark thoughts aren’t there just to make my life harder. The only reason I experience them is because there is more light trying to get through.
There’s this teaching inside Kabbalah that I come back to all the time. The light from the sun travels through space unseen. It’s only when it meets resistance, when it hits our atmosphere, that the light is revealed and becomes the life force that lets us live. So no resistance, no light.
That’s how I see my dark thoughts.
I truly believe this is what the human experience is most of the time. You spiral down into the deep. You sit there a while. Then you come back up like I’M BACK BABY!! I’M BACK!! … and then, eventually, you head back down again.
And that’s not us failing. That’s us being human.
Like the cyclical nature of nature, light can’t exist without the darkness. We are nature, so the same goes for us.
So rather than trying to avoid it, be WITH it. Accept it. Let it be there.
But don’t stay there.
Do the work to get yourself out. Because what happens over time is you stay down in the deep for less time, and you come back up faster. The bouncing back gets quicker.
The darkness ain’t going away.
But with the right tools, the visit down there gets shorter.
Highly recommend & here to hold that space for you and walk alonside you inside all the different phases of this thing called life.
Big Love,
Nicole xx
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